Fecal and urinary incontinence is a common side effect following a stroke. When a family member begins experiencing post stroke incontinence, it can be difficult to discuss the problem – especially if the person is recognized as the head of the family.
In their article Dealing With Incontinence, The Internet Stroke Center provides some excellent suggestions for approaching the topic of post stroke incontinence and finding workable solutions while keeping the person’s dignity intact:
“Stress that this problem is not the fault of the person…In talking to the family about incontinence, it is important to emphasize that this condition is extremely common following a stroke. Many people feel that bowel and bladder functions are personally controllable and failure to do so is the fault of the person suffering. This is not true and must be emphasized to avoid placing feelings of guilt and shame on the family member with the problem. The family must also not feel ashamed or embarrassed to be around the suffering member. In many cases incontinence is a byproduct of stroke and must be dealt with by everyone who has close connections or interactions with the stroke survivor.
Trying to talk to the person suffering from incontinence can be an embarrassing experience for everyone. This is especially true in cultures were the sufferer is the leader of the family. If Grandma does not want to talk about the problems she is having making it to the bathroom in time, we as a family, will not talk about it. Instead, the family will try to accommodate the problem. We will ask Grandma if she has to go to the bathroom more often, put plastic on chairs she sits in, cut down on trips outside of the home, or limit the time of outside trips. None of these actions actually solve the problem though, nor do they help people understand what they are going through. Instead it creates a cloud of shame and embarrassment that follows the sufferer wherever they go.
Talk openly about the problem…Approaching the situation in a direct way avoids embarrassment for all parties involved. Start the conversation off by saying ‘…we’ve all noticed that you are having accidents when trying to get to the bathroom…. ‘ This will help open the lines of communication and create a more relaxed atmosphere for discussion.”
The article also provides an extremely helpful list of suggestions on what can be done to help the person with post stroke incontinence feel more comfortable about their condition and stop incontinence from interfering with their well-being and enjoyment of life. Click to read the entire article, Dealing with Incontinence.